Silly
by Death's Daughter
Summary: Sirius wants to snog Remus silly. The logistics of that, however, escape him somewhat. RemusSirius


Sirius wanted to snog Remus silly.

He had no idea quite how to go about this – the snogging he got quite nicely, it was the silly bit he was having issues with.

Oh well, it had to be a lot more satisfying than snogging Remus sensible.

-----

"James?" Sirius asked.

"Yes?"

"How do you snog someone silly?"

James looked thoughtful.

"I suppose you could start," he mused, "by finding someone silly. And then snogging them."

Sirius glared at him.

"Prongs, that is entirely unhelpful."

"Well how am I supposed to know?" James demanded, adjusting his glasses.

"You've got more of a chance of knowing than Peter has!"

They both paused, a brief moment of mourning for the fourth member of their band, who seemed doomed to only have affairs with rats and Hufflepuffs.

"How about you work out how to snog someone sensible," James suggested, "and then do the opposite."

That sounded like a reasonable plan.

"James?"

"Yes?"

"How do you snog someone sensible?"

-----

Remus was worried. And he felt he had every right to be worried, because at heart he was a bit of a worrier, and an eminently sensible person. And Sirius had been wandering around with that look on his face that suggested he was thinking of things which did not bode well for eminently sensible worriers. Especially not if their loyalties were torn between their position as Prefect and the fact that they were shagging the person who caused a rather large portion of the trouble that took place in the school.

He'd confided his worries to Lily, who had shown him not the slightest bit of sympathy. Peter wasn't willing to talk to anyone thanks to a harrowing incident with another rat during the full moon that left him feeling violated and insecure about his sexuality.

It was probably for the best, actually. If he'd told Peter, Peter would probably have immediately gone to join in. And dealing with Sirius on his own was bad enough.

The use of a cunningly deployed arm-lock and jelly legs hex had been enough for him to extract from James a modicum of useful information. Although unless you could fathom the workings of Sirius' mind, the information wasn't all that helpful.

Sirius wanted to snog someone silly.

And, since Remus was only aware of one person that Sirius was interested in snogging, (that being Remus himself), he was not totally inclined to prevent this action from taking place.

Of course, Remus also knew that Sirius wanted to snog someone (him) silly and that he had not the slightest idea of how to go about it.

It was almost sweet.

-----

Sirius thought he'd worked it out.

In order to snog Remus silly, he'd have to logically remove at least one of the aspects that made Remus sensible.

So, in theory, he needed to snog Remus for long enough that the oxygen supply to his brain started to run out.

This could prove quite difficult.

-----

"Moony?"

"Yes, Pads?"

"How long can you hold your breath for?"

-----

Sirius had been practicing. He could hold his breath comfortably for about forty seconds. Longer if he didn't mind pulling funny faces and making an odd squeaking noise. He'd managed a whole minute earlier that evening.

Remus came into the dorm and he pounced, tackling the other boy to the floor and plastering their lips together. Remus responded pretty enthusiastically, until he realized that he couldn't actually breathe. Sirius carried on, pinning him to the floor and holding on tight, until Remus gave him an inelegant shove, with strength it didn't look like he possessed, and sent him sprawling.

The werewolf's face was flushed and he was sucking in deep breaths, which Sirius would've found flattering, if Remus hadn't been staring at him like he was a lunatic.

"Moony?" He asked hesistantly.

"What?"

"Do you feel silly now?"

Remus paused, then he gave a groan and sank back onto the floor, covering his face with his hands. It occurred to him then that if he didn't give the right answer, Sirius might continue trying to suffocate him.

"Yes Pads," he said, his voice muffled by his fingers. "I feel very silly."

"You're not acting that differently from when you're sensible," Sirius pointed out.

"I don't," Remus told him. "My silly and sensible are very similar. It is utterly not worth trying to make me act silly because it is so very like my sensible."

"Oh," Sirius appeared to think about this, fiddling with the hem of his robes. "Well. That was a waste of time, then."

"What was?" Remus asked innocently.

"Nothing," Sirius muttered.

"Righto," Remus pushed himself up on his elbows. "Fancy snogging again?"

Sirius considered this.

"Yeah, alright."


End file.
